#OylerGate: Believe Survivors

Published: 12/30/2019

Believe Survivors. This has been like a mantra echoing throughout society for the past few years. Believe survivors. We live in a rape culture because we don’t believe survivors. We live in a violent culture because we don’t believe survivors. If you continue to maintain skepticism about survivors’ stories – because you must uphold the ideal of due process, or because the survivor isn’t the ideal victim, or because the survivor’s story doesn’t feel like assault (apologies for “outercourse” or “fast women”) – you are supporting a violent (patriarchal) culture: you are the problem if you don’t believe survivors. ALWAYS BELIEVE SURVIVORS, or so the reactionary echo goes.

While recognizing assaults are of course bad, Bari Weiss of the New York Times worries we may have gone too far. Skepticism towards survivors is not only rational but desirable. “I believe that it’s condescending to think that women and their claims can’t stand up to interrogation and can’t handle skepticism. I believe that facts serve feminists far better than faith. That due process is better than mob rule.”¹ When Bari hears the echo from anti-rape & anti-violence advocates, she hears Believe ALL survivors, no matter what. “I believe that the ‘believe all women’ vision of feminism unintentionally fetishizes women. Women are no longer human and flawed. They are Truth personified. They are above reproach.” she says. Is this in fact the case? According to Weiss and other apologists, the danger of Believing All Women means we are forcing due process to commit seppuku²; we are condemning alleged perpetrators of abuse to guilty until proven otherwise. “A common argument is that by believing survivors we go against our criminal justice system’s value of innocent until proven guilty. By automatically believing survivors, some argue, we’re bypassing a fair trial and sticking a “guilty” label on the alleged perpetrator with no investigation or proof.”³ It is the valid & rational way to be skeptical, and it is invalid & irrational to blindly believe all alleged survivors uncritically.

Bari & other apologists might point to examples like Jussie Smollet, who in early 2019 claimed he was the victim of a racist & homophobic attack by MAGA hat wearing fiends. Police eventually discovered Smollet had hired two Nigerian actors to attack him and brought charges of filing a false police report against him, though these were dropped by the Cook County State’s Attorney.⁴ The actor was lambasted for the false allegations and ultimately lost his job on the show Empire. Many on the right used it as a prime example of MeToo gone too far.

Bari Weiss was widely criticized by many feminist activists in anti-rape & anti-violence circles. For starters, Bari misquotes the hashtag; no anti-rape or anti-violence activist uses the phrase “Believe ALL Survivors.” Believing survivors is not some blind ideological belief that obscures the facts. The purpose of Believe Survivors is to alter our frame of reference towards taking allegations of sexual & domestic abuse as seriously as we would any other crime. Katie Mcdonough accuses Bari of performing a dangerous flattenning of abuse allegations. “’Trust but verify’ is just another way of saying ‘believe women,’ which is another way of saying ‘don’t reflexively disbelieve women.’ Increasingly, in painful fits and starts, we’re seeing what it looks like to do that.”⁵ It’s as if Bari is hearing that Men rape only to reflexively respond #NotAllMen, or she hears #BlackLivesMatter and counters that actually #AllLivesMatter.

Believing survivors actually does more to support honest fact-finding than an alleged pro-skeptic position. Studies show that false allegations are actually quite rare. “It’s important to understand that survivors are telling the truth the vast majority of the time. Statistics show that 90-98% of reports of sexual assault are found to be true, which is the same for other violent crimes.”³ One study in the UK showed just how vanishingly small false accusations are. “In the period of the review, there were 5,651 prosecutions for rape and 111,891 for domestic violence. During the same period there were 35 prosecutions for making false allegations of rape, six for making false allegation of domestic violence and three for making false allegations of both rape and domestic violence.”⁶ How does this effect our reactions to abuse accusations? “It means, in other words, that you should believe women—not because you have an obligation to ignore the facts, but because the facts say women aren’t lying.”⁷

#BelieveSurvivors did not conjure itself out of thin air. The mantra Believe Survivors is not for abuse survivors, but allies and others who were not themselves victimized by sexual or domestic assault. 15-20 years ago, the phrase was “Break the Silence.” Break the Silence does not put the onus on society at-large, but on the survivors themselves. The more survivors who speak out against the stigma the greater solidarity builds amongst survivors. New spaces for language to flourish are created that allow survivors to develop the concepts needed for them to tell their stories without stigma. These new spaces become objects of scientific discourse: by healthcare specialists analyzing the effects of trauma on the body, by therapists developing tools to address the effects of abuse on the psyche, etc. And, from these new discourses and the solidarity between survivors & allies, we see the focus of anti-rape & anti-violence rhetoric move towards society at-large. “The rhetorical progression from ‘break the silence’ to ‘believe women’ is a subtle but important one: Whereas ‘break the silence’ put the onus on survivors of sexual assault to tell their stories—however painful or retraumatizing that may be—‘believe women’ attempts to shift responsibility onto those who hear and bear witness to them.”⁸

As Feminist icon, Gloria Steinem, once said, “Obviously, ‘break the silence’ and ‘believe women’ are sequential. You can’t be believed until you speak, and the more women who break the silence, the more we are believed.”

Despite the rise of the #MeToo movement, there are still survivors being left behind. I’m talking about the survivors of domestic abuse, a crime which may be more common than rape & sexual assault.⁹ There are many reasons for this.

For one, merely identifying as a domestic abuse survivor could lead back to the abuser. When women said #MeToo about workplace sexual harassment & assaults, it could be difficult to determine who the abuser was. Survivors could disclose they were harassed without naming their abuser. Domestic abuse typically occurs within intimate relationships. If domestic abuse survivor discloses they have experienced abuse, anyone with knowledge of this survivor’s history could easily connect the dots as to whom the abuser might be. And, this includes their abuser (who they may still be in a relationship with), who, upon discovery of this disclosure, could possibly retaliate with violence.

At the same time, domestic abuse is still in some ways seen as a private matter to be kept within the family. “Once again, domestic violence is minimized… not treated as the crime it is,” said Ruth Glenn, president of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.”

“The way the Me Too movement has gotten some traction has, in many cases, been around workplace violence, and I think that is a little bit less stigmatizing than intimate violence,” said Sherry Hamby, a University of the South psychology professor and founding editor of the American Psychological Association journal Psychology of Violence.¹⁰

Domestic abuse can have more stigma attached to it than sexual harassment, precisely because it usually occurs within intimate relationships and over a long period of time “in what people view as a consenting adult relationship.”¹¹ Society often asks, why would you stay in such a situation? Their disbelief leads to victim blaming. Some might ask what the survivors said or did to their abusers leading up to an assault. Because many survivors don’t leave when abuse begins, they are viewed as complicit. “It factors into why many stay silent.”¹⁰

“The reasons women choose to stay with an abusive partner are infinitely complex, advocates say, such as fearing for their families’ lives or believing the abuser will “go back” to the way things were, because abuse often does not begin right away.”¹²

It will still take awhile before we take domestic abuse as seriously as we should. Violence from domestic incidents can have wide-ranging health consequences on survivors. “Domestic violence can cause a number of short- and long-term physical and mental health problems. Some of the physical injuries that can occur include cuts, bruises, bite marks, concussions, broken bones, penetrative injuries such as knife wounds, miscarriages, joint damage, loss of hearing and vision, migraines, permanent disfigurement, arthritis, hypertension, heart disease, and sexually transmitted infections including human papillomavirus, which can lead to cervical cancer and eventually death. Some of the mental health problems that can occur from domestic violence include depression, alcohol or substance abuse, anxiety, personality disorders, posttraumatic stress disorder, sleeping and eating disorders, social dysfunction, and suicide.”¹³

One in four women — and one in seven men — have experienced severe physical abuse by a partner, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Abusive behavior can also include verbal threats, stalking and sexual violence. If you or someone you know is being abused, support and help are available. Visit the hotline’s website or call 1-800-799-7233.

Believe Survivors

Believe survivors, we’re told. But, what about when the survivor is adamant she is not a survivor? What happens when the survivor recants? This is the situation in the domestic abuse case of At-Large Peoria City Councilmember Zach Oyler. His survivor, wife Heather Oyler, has now come forward with a full recantation of events. She says she wants charges dropped against her husband and the July 30^th incident was a complete misunderstanding that blew out of proportions. She now insists she is not a survivor of domestic abuse but is a survivor of mental health issues, which she says were at the heart of the July 30^th incident when her husband was arrested at their home.

“There have been a lot of people saying that this is a cycle of domestic abuse, or I’m being coerced, or I’m being threatened and that couldn’t be further from the truth,” Heather Oyler said.¹⁴

Heather Oyler says she’s long grappled with issues of mental health, and she’d had issues with changes in her treatment at the time which might’ve affected how she reacted that night. She had talked through her recollections of that night with therapists and a psychiatrist before speaking to the Journal Star.

“Zach was trying to calm me down,” Heather Oyler says. After having had a couple drinks earlier in the night, “he knew he couldn’t drive, and he knows that if I take my medication I take before I go to sleep for my diagnosis that I can’t drive either,” she says. “I can be walking and talking and not even realize it after I take some of this medication. And it was the time of night where I would’ve taken it by that point. I hadn’t taken anything — I told the police that. But Zach didn’t know that because he’d been in and out of the room for the majority of the night.”¹⁵

Oyler discussed at length her history of mental health in a WMBD interview. She was diagnosed with bipolar in 2006 and also has PTSD and anxiety. “The night in question was a PTSD related symptom when a flashback hit me when something was said during a fight we were having. I completely lost control.”

She went on to state that the incident report and 911 call to police should be discounted as evidence because, “I was not in the right mind when this happened; I went into a space where I didn’t exactly know what was going on around me.”

Predictably, many social media commentators immediately called for her to be charged with filing a false police report. She was immediately denigrated as a liar with some advising Zach Oyler to leave her otherwise this would happen again.

I have to push back on this interpretation. A distinction needs to be made between saying something which is untrue and telling a lie. On the one hand, a lie is a false statement spoken by the speaker for the purpose of deception. On the other, if someone tells you something false but with the belief it was true, that’s not a lie. When one is experiencing a severe mental episode, one’s very perception is fundamentally altered. In philosophy, this is sometimes referred to as one’s disposition or “the state in which one is found.” Dispositions are a fundamental and constitutive part of who we are as humans. Dispositions attune us to the world around us and structure the types of meaning we encounter from objects around us. For instance, if one is suffering extreme depression, the world will seem to lack any fulfilling meaning. The world recedes from us, and we feel lost without anything meaningful to grasp on too. Fear is another disposition. When one is fearful, objects which are normally innocuous appear threatening to us, and this disposition fundamentally alters the way we interpret the world and the way we react to objects or people in the world.

I have a lot of sympathy for Heather in this instance. I too suffer from bipolar, and many times have done things during an extreme manic phase that later reflection causes me to regret. With time & reflection, we interpret past actions differently–in a new light. Yet, none of this means she lied to police or prosecutors the night she called the police. The night this occurred she was in a disposition of fear; her own actions & the actions of her husband appeared threatening to her at the time and she truthfully revealed her situation to authorities. If, as Heather wishes, we are to de-stigmatize mental health then we have to realize that dispositions fundamentally ground our interpretations of the world; and, extreme dispositions alter our interpretations in extreme ways. But, that does not mean these interpretations are lies; she really did experience that interpretation.

Other armchair commentators have attacked Heather by calling on her to be removed from her job. She currently works at Quest High School. There is a belief she might falsely accuse some student of misbehavior. Again, this assumes that she was lying. We’ve already pointed out that false accusations of assault are exceedingly rare. But, what is the type of person who lies or deceives about being assaulted? Unlike survivors of sexual and domestic abuse who cross gender, racial, & economic groups, accusers who deliberately lie are usually a very specific type of person. “Adult false accusers… have a previous history of bizarre fabrications or criminal fraud. Indeed, they’re often criminals whose family and friends are also criminals; broken people trapped in chaotic lives.”¹⁶ This certainly does not fit the description of Heather Oyler, who owns her own real estate business and was likely vetted by her employers before she was allowed to work around children.

Some might point to people with mental health being liars, but this also doesn’t hold up under scrutiny and is actually terribly stigmatizing to survivors of mental health problems who are often disbelieved about the seriousness of their symptoms. In fact, studies show that bipolar, anxiety, and other common mental health disorders are not associated with false rape or abuse allegations.¹² There is a mental disorder typically associated with false allegations and that’s factitious disorder: “a personality disorder related to (and often accompanied by) Munchausen’s syndrome, which compels them to claim they’ve been assaulted.”¹² Once again, this does not fit the description of Heather Oyler or the description of anyone who lives a successful professional career.

Despite her recantation, State’s Attorney Judi Hoos has vowed to continue the prosecution against Zach Oyler. Heather believes the State’s Attorney is using her as a pawn to go after a powerful elected official. Mike Mendola of Wenona, wrote a Journal Star op-ed calling for charges to be dropped. “Peoria County State’s Attorney Jodi Hoos needs to back off on the Zach and Heather Oyler case… Hoos, the state’s attorney newly appointed as a replacement for Jerry Brady who died this summer, is trying to make a name for herself by opportunistically prosecuting a case against a rising member of the opposing political party… the biggest misfortune would be for Hoos to stubbornly insist on prosecuting this case, further hurting both of the Oylers.”

There may be some truth to the continued prosecution of Zach Oyler being politically motivated. Politically motivated in the sense that–with the rise of the #MeToo movement–there is a vigorous desire among society right now to punish alleged abusers.

Jodi Hoos said she has seen similar situations before. “Unfortunately in domestic violence cases this is not uncommon a lot of times victims either want case, charges to be dismissed, for the case not to proceed forward or sometimes are just not cooperative at all. We have to look at the message that sends if somebody can simply come in and say we want the case dismissed even though there is evidence to prove it that’s just a terrible message to send to the public.” said Hoos

While she wouldn’t speak about this case specifically, she said as long as evidence exists a case will proceed.

“If they are not going to testify or if they are going to change their statement, then what other evidence do we have that still supports going forward with the case. 911 calls, physical evidence, pictures, body camera footage or statements that may be on a body camera.” said Hoos.¹⁷

Why is Hoos taking this position despite the survivor turning 180 and desiring all charges be dropped? While political & electoral motives are certainly involved, there’s also the fact that 70%-80% of domestic abuse survivors recant. It used to be that if a survivor recants & refuses to testify, that was the end of a case. “Authorities in many jurisdictions still believe that without victim cooperation, there’s no reason to prosecute. If a victim doesn’t care, the logic goes, why should anyone else?”¹⁸ Considering recantation rates this means most abusers go unpunished. Perhaps some of the State’s Attorney’s motives are to be sure: to be safe rather than sorry.

Domestic abuse does not just have negative effects to an individual’s private life but very real societal consequences. “Society as a whole is further impacted by the demand domestic violence generates. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that in 1995, the cost of domestic violence against women exceeded $5.8 billion. Of this cost, $4.1 billion were directly attributable to medical and mental healthcare costs with almost $1.8 billion attributed to the indirect cost of lost productivity. On average, victims lose about eight million days of paid work. When converted to today’s dollars, the cost of intimate partner violence (IPV), rape, physical assault, and stalking is more than $8.3 billion. Domestic violence is not, and cannot remain thought to be, a private matter.”¹⁹

Around the mid-1980s, prosecutors began looking for other ways to hold alleged abusers accountable. Using evidence-based prosecution, prosecutors attempted to justify prosecutions without requiring survivors to testify. This means using photos, interviews, 911 calls, spontaneous admissions, medical records, etc. “Evidence-based prosecution is an approach whereby prosecutors build a case based on available evidence irrespective of the victim’s willingness to participate in the case or testify against their abuser… Fundamental to the evidence-based prosecution approach is the principle that domestic violence cases that are provable should be prosecuted irrespective of whether the victim is cooperative or willing to participate in the case.”¹²This does not mean prosecute domestic abuse allegations with no evidence. Most legal groups do not recommend a no-drop policy with domestic abuse indictments, and in fact believe mandatory arrests and mandatory no-drop policies actually do more harm than good.¹² However, “the combination of mandatory arrest with an evidence-based prosecution approach proved effective in reducing recidivism and lethality.”¹²

In the Oylergate case, there is evidence–independent of the survivor’s testimony–to support the original accusations. I’ve already described at length the allegations in other posts. As much as I hate agreeing with Phil Luciano²⁰ of the Journal Star, it is true that Oyler’s survivor’s recantation does not 100% agree with the evidence collected by law enforcement.²¹ This inconsistencies will have to be hashed out in court.

Ultimately, prosecuting domestic violence cases where evidence is prevalent are not just about winning political points or winning cases. It’s about changing the culture & norms that insist domestic abuse incidents are merely private matters. Because the overwhelming majority of survivors recant (despite the abuse continuing), it’s imperative that prosecutors take the incidents & claims seriously.

Heather Oyler now says her and Zach Oyler are back together and happier & stronger than ever. If this is the case, all the better. As I’ve argued elsewhere, the mere fact that the accused is an elected official means the people are due a fact-finding investigation.

“We have to look at the message that sends if somebody can simply come in and say we want the case dismissed even though there is evidence to prove it that’s just a terrible message to send to the public,” said Judi Hoos.

Zach Oyler is due in court on charges of domestic abuse & preventing the reporting of a domestic incident. The charges were temporarily put on hold when in November the judge in the case, Judge John Vespa, recused himself because of perceived conflicts of interest (both Oyler & Vespa are members of the Peoria Republican party). Now, Oyler has a court date of March 16^th under Democrat Judge Kevin Lyons. As always, Oyler is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

UPDATE: On October 16th, 2020, Councilmember Zach Oyler took an Alford plea to disorderly conduct as part of an agreement to have other charges stemming from a July 2019 domestic incident dropped. Oyler & his wife have reconciled. (SEE FULL DETAILS)

For more information on #Oylergate, see my reporting here.

1. Weiss, Bari. “The Limits of ‘Believe All Women’.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 28 Nov. 2017.
2. Japanese ritual suicide
3. “Believing Survivors Does Not Equal a ‘Guilty’ Verdict: The Blue Bench.” The Blue Bench: Metro Denver’s Only Comprehensive Sexual Assault Support and Prevention Center.
4. North, Anna. “How the Jussie Smollett Case Became Part of a Larger Controversy around Believing Survivors.” Vox, Vox, 26 Mar. 2019.
5. McDonough, Katie. “’Believe All Women’ Isn’t a Thing.” Splinter, Splinter, 9 July 2018.
6. Starmer, Keir. “False Allegations of Rape and Domestic Violence Are Few and Far between | Keir Starmer.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 13 Mar. 2013.
7. Doyle, Sady. “‘Believe Women’ Has Never Meant ‘Ignore Facts.’” ELLE, 29 Nov. 2017.
8. Solis, Marie. “When Believing Women Isn’t Enough to Help Them.” Vice, 9 Oct. 2018.
9. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the U.S. have been victims of violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime, which it defines as rape, physical violence or stalking. The truth, experts say, is that domestic violence is a pervasive social problem that cuts across race, age, income, sexual orientation, religion and gender — in terms of both victims and perpetrators.” Dastagir, Alia E. “Rob Porter Scandal a Good Time to Debunk Domestic Violence Myths.” USA Today, Gannett Satellite Information Network, 16 Feb. 2018.
10. Dastagir, Alia E. “The #MeToo Survivors We Forgot.” USA Today, Gannett Satellite Information Network, 24 Apr. 2018.
11. Mervosh, Sarah. “Domestic Violence Awareness Hasn’t Caught Up With #MeToo. Here’s Why.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 16 Oct. 2018.
12. Ibid.
13. Alejo, Kavita (2014) “Long-Term Physical and Mental Health Effects of Domestic Violence,” Themis: Research Journal of Justice Studies and Forensic Science: Vol. 2 , Article 5.
14. Rodriguez, Stephanie. “Councilman’s Wife Says Mental Health Issues Led to Domestic Abuse Claims.” HOIABC, 17 Oct. 2019.
15. Kaergard, Chris. “Heather Oyler Offers Details on July 30 Incident, Seeks Dismissal of Charges against Husband Zach Oyler.” Journal Star, Journal Star, 16 Oct. 2019.
16. Newman, Sandra. “What Kind of Person Makes False Rape Accusations?” Quartz, Quartz, 12 May 2017.
17. Weber, Andy. “Councilman Oyler Back In Court One Day After Wife Asks for Charges to Be Dropped.” HOIABC, 16 Oct. 2019.
18. Snyder, Rachel Louise. “We Prosecute Murder Without the Victim’s Help. Why Not Domestic Violence?” The New York Times, The New York Times, 4 May 2019.
19. National District Attorneys Association Women Prosecutors Section. NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROSECUTION BEST PRACTICES GUIDE. 17 July 2017.
20. Reading Luciano’s ramblings is like listening to a cantankerous fossil yell at a brick wall about issues that no one but geriatrics and the most reactionary cave-dwellers care about.
21. Luciano, Phil. “Luciano: The Truth Is, Heather Oyler Can’t Demand Husband’s Domestic Case Be Dropped.” Journal Star, Journal Star, 17 Oct. 2019.